Moving in a new place, finally, after 6 years.

Post date: 2018-01-10 10:05:44
Views: 32
I'm finally moving to a new place (across town, so still local) after living for 6 years at the same, somewhat toxic place... and I'm scared out of my mind.

As many of you probably can see in my post history, the place I've lived at for the past 6 years has had some good and bad, but things really went downhill after the home invasion we experienced in 2016. During that time, my two landlords were in the process of building a new condo-style home next door on an empty lot, which was converted to two units. The co-landlord, after the whole home invasion mess, decided to back out of the deal, selling his unit. The landlord (same one who the home invasion was for) decided to occupy the other unit, offering me a somewhat cheap bedroom, that had a furnace inside, no door (he put up a curtain for privacy though), and a shared bathroom with another roommate, which would have access to his bedroom. Not a very good situation all around, but I was lucky because the process for the landlord to occupy the unit took a long time, so I essentially was moved to a month-by-month basis where we currently lived. Time was running out, and I was feeling increasingly uncertain about the "room", and I think the icing on the cake was when he told me the room would be very warm due to the furnace, even with the thermostat turned on down. The room would also have no closet.

After some searching, I found another bedroom kind of across town, with my own toilet ensuite (yay for my parcopresis!), own door, a small patio, and two closets. I visited the place, met my potential roommate, liked the vibe, and decided on the spot to take it. It would only be the two of us. I know, I know... I was told over the years to find a new place, but in my mind, where "anxiety bureaucracy" exists, things take longer to happen/decisions to be made.

I'm due to move in tonight (getting my keys and all), and I'm feeling very anxious. I know... what would I be anxious about? I should be thrilled! Let me break it down a bit.

a) I'm deaf. The other roommate isn't. It's my first time ever, actually, rooming with a hearing person. ALL people I've roomed with has been deaf. I can't hear at all (as in, 100% profoundly deaf) and can't read lips, so have to write/type back and forth, or sign. Yes, my family is fully hearing, but in this situation, they don't count because, well, they're family (and they can sign). My new roommate doesn't sign, although I offered to teach him some new signs. Losing that easy communication makes me nervous.

b) It's somewhat hard for me to leave my current home, because of the attachment I have with my landlord (the one who was raided). We've known each other since middle school and are friends. Despite the somewhat toxic environment caused by other roommates, he's cool and have always been a good friend to me. The co-landlord was generally cool, too.

c) I don't know the new landlord at all, so have no idea what to expect. The home/condo showed to me was very nice, but I don't know what to expect if a crisis happens. Will the landlord be responsive? Willing to fix? Would he be the kind of landlord that would try to blame his tenants for any trouble? I just don't know. He seems nice so far, but again, you just never know. Can you tell I have trust issues?

Adding to this is that I have social anxiety and general anxiety, and am really looking forward to a nice peaceful place I can call home. I don't know what the new roommate is like, other than that he seemed nice when I met him, and I'm hoping for a confrontational-free situation, where I don't have to confront him if he smokes inside the house (no idea if he is a smoker or not), or brings over too many people which would make me feel somewhat uncomfortable, or other things like that. I'm also worried that the communication gap may make it harder, and that there will be situations where I will be completely lost... never an issue when rooming with other deaf people. I hate, hate, hate confrontations, and don't want to put this roommate out of his way or be any trouble, but at the same time, I want to be prepared. I know none of this has happened yet (heck, I haven't moved in yet!), but I just want to be prepared and feel more in control.

Somewhat mitigating this issue is the fact that I was able to be put on a 6-month lease, so if things don't go well, 6 months isn't a long time. I'm still feeling very anxious and not knowing what to expect, which is kind of hard for a self-admitted control freak like me. I know being deaf makes this a somewhat unique situation.

What I'm asking for is suggestions and input on how to make this move and transition go smoother, and to ensure good interactions with my new roommate.
From: http://ask.metafilter.com/317744/Moving-in-a-new-place-finally-after-6-years
 
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