One JOb search, two perspectives

Post date: 2025-07-12 05:48:09

I am ramping up a job search. My wife consistently downplays how difficult it will be get a job. I am wondering if it's best to manage expectations as we may make some different decisions over the course of my job search (i.e where to move, what salary to jump for etc). Have you been in a situation where you and your partner were in a challenging job search and one's expectations may be different than the other. How did you manage it? lots more inside

"Oh you work in tech they are always hiring", "You have so much experience", or "how would you be competing with all those government workers, they work in government, its so different". "So and so got a job, you have so much more skills than her"

From her perspective, she's applied to <10 jobs over three job searches over 15 years and gotten more than a 50% OFFER rate (from just applying). She doesn't really read sites like these or reddit or etc.

On one hand, there is something to be said to having a very optimistic view so I don't get discouraged.

Based on reading this forum and internet, I am working with the impression that I will be either out of work for a very long time (1+ years) or never be able to get back into a white collar job similar (ie within 50%) of what I was being paid. I have told my wife these things and she thinks I'm catastrophizing, as do most of my friends that work in the field. When I chat with folks that are not my friends and talk a little about my situation there is more concern.

From my perspective I have a lot of things that will make things challenging that almost make me give up before I start: 1) I quit my job and do not have a job now. 2) I left that job in a bad way where I will not have a good reference for the last couple years 3) I work in tech but I'm mostly a 'soft skill guy' (Business analyst, PM-ish) 4) I live and work in an area that is about to have the highest white collar unemployment rate ever 5) The world 6) I have not been a great getter of jobs or interviews (I had worked in same place for 10+ years) 7) I am over 40. These are things that I know there are ways that can tailor a story and change, but will require working harder than I've ever done in my life.

On the other hand I I do have a great network, personable, and in a place to completely flip my worldview.

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