Help with a differently-brained co-worker

Post date: 2022-05-28 11:46:17

I have a co-worker who I'm pretty sure is neurodivergent along some spectrum. He doesn't talk much, he's a total savant a some tasks and pretty helpless at others. He is a nice guy, but I worry that I don't know how to interact with him well. More details about today inside.

So, I don't work with this person often but today he was on my "team" of which I was the guy in charge. There's a lot of very independent work, even within the team, and my job is mostly to keep everything running smoothly.

During the day we have breaks around X time and a meal around Y time and another break around Z. The morning break went pretty well, with people moving in and out on their own terms during the appropriate time. But during lunch, everyone else cycled into lunch and I found this guy still working. I asked if he had a lunch yet and he said he hadn't been told how we weren't handling it. (Obviously not picking up the clues that everyone else had made their own plans.) I apologized to him for not discussing it with him and told him that if he wanted lunch now, he should take it now, or he could have it later. He left for lunch right away.

Later in the day, I talked to him and apologized again for not talking to him about lunch and said I would do better the next time he was on my team. He told me "I don't like to take lunch at the usual time anyway." I asked what time he liked to take lunch and he gave me a specific time and I promised to remember that in the future.

I worry about 1) having not done right by this person from the beginning but also 2) hoping I didn't make too big a deal out of my misstep with him when talking later in the day.

Anyway, any advice here would be appreciated. I'm not looking to be this guy's best friend but I do want to be someone he finds pleasant to work with and who is respectful and is trying to learn how to communicate well with him.

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