Why wait for a medical appointment in the distant future?

Post date: 2025-05-02 04:26:57

I'm curious about pros, cons, rationale, and generational differences when it comes to waiting for medical treatment vs. shopping around to find a doctor that is available sooner. More details/specifics inside.

My mom has several medical issues, and she is sometimes told by providers that she must wait anywhere from 1-6mo for the next available appointment either with some new recommended specialist or sometimes just her usual PCP. To be clear, the PCP isn't someone who she is deeply enmeshed with over years of treatment or a superstar that really gets her. They're just the doctor that was assigned at some point and now they have some slightly longer historical record due to repeated appointments. It's honestly a question mark whether they specifically remember her/her issues, and she would say the same. (She is a person that respects and values medical opinions but who has also had very inconsistent experiences with doctors, even those whom she has seen repeatedly, so she approaches most appointments with a healthy degree of skepticism.)

When she tells me that she's been scheduled for an appointment in X many months, I, a person with allegiance to no doctor or facility find myself recommending shopping around to find someone who can see her sooner, even if that means establishing herself as a new patient and traveling somewhere a little farther. My mom is extremely organized and detail-oriented -- the kind of person who will show up at the doctor with all her past medical records, a timeline, her referral, etc. She has no trouble remembering important info or conveying it, and she is an excellent advocate for herself and her needs. She's also great at making all the calls to make sure different offices share records with each other in a timely fashion. And, her insurance allows her choice in providers -- she's not limited by an HMO network.

That all said, she sometimes seems reluctant to simply find a new practice/provider rather than wait for the distant scheduled appointment, even if she is more anxious about the long wait leading to worse medical issues. She does often take the nudge from me to cast her net wider for a provider with a more accessible schedule, but not without a little hesitance. It feels to me like a notable difference in instinct. I'm wondering about two things --- is it a millennial vs. boomer thing to have absolutely no allegiance to any doctor and be comfortable bouncing around to whomever is available on my timeline vs. a sense that one should play by the rules and wait her turn? Has anyone written about this phenomenon? (Am I the weird one for not feeling like there are rules to follow regarding doctor selection?) And more importantly, are there pros and cons that I'm not seeing when it comes to accepting a long distant appointment and simply waiting for care from a "referred" or "semi-established-relationship" doc vs. putting in the legwork to find someone who can see the patient sooner? I know not everyone has the spoons to do the administrative legwork and definitely acknowledge that it's annoying, stressful, and may not be feasible for all or in all circumstances. Let's assume Mom and I have the spoons and that I'm willing to help if she's overwhelmed -- I'm more curious about generational mindset and actual pros/cons to managing one's healthcare with no commitment to specific providers.

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