I've finally admitted to myself that I'm queer in approaching middle age, but I may well end up in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Should I say anything, or not, or ... ?
To make a long story short, I didn't feel like I deserved to "take up space" by coming out. I am attracted to women as well as men and to other people of all genders. I knew this all my life, but I thought: if I didn't definitely know I wasn't going to marry a man or have a baby, why should I talk about it? People think that bisexual women are either desperate or they're human carnival rides. I am neither, and I know that's bullshit but I also don't want to deal with it.
My sexuality is very private and monogamous. I don't mean to be phobic here! It is okay that other people are different! I just feel like I don't share a lot of the same desires or concerns that I see in online queer spaces. Again, I don't want to condemn those things. I'm just not somebody I see reflected there.
I always used to tell myself that I could come out if and when I had a girlfriend, and I know that my closest loved ones would accept that gladly. Without that, it would just be TMI at best and family shit-stirring at worst. But as right-wingers try to push the Overton window back towards anti-gay violence, I feel like it's important for "non-political" people to understand that they know queer people, and my coming out could be part of that.
Then, too, I could, you know, just meet people, and meet people that they know, and something could happen, and it would be great. What do you do, in this day and age? |
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