My almost 13 year old, recently made an objectively bad choice with numerous health/safety risks to them and others. I need help coping.
I'm very concerned with their explanation of how they decided to make this bad decision, the 'why' of it all. Listening to their answer to 'how did you know this was a good decision for you' , was very alarming, as they didn't have an answer other than they just wanted to do it. They had made this bad decision with limited forethought, and felt ok doing that. They weren't put on the spot to answer this reflective question mind you, we had been calmly discussing what had happened and sharing adult insights into risks they may not had considered. I believe their answer was sincere, not rushed.
Prior to this incident, I would have described this kid as pretty level headed, bright and considerate. And while I certainly expected there would be some questionable decision making and risk taking along the way to adulthood, I cannot stress enough that this particular decision was shocking given the variables, which were in their control. It would have been less shocking, but still distressing if they were say 16, to give you perspective,
My question isn't about how to handle the kid (partner is taking the lead and is well equipped), my question is how do I cope with the sudden realization that my kid's decision making around risk is terrible (perhaps not always, but there is this precedent), and my new fear that they may evolve into a teen that stumbles badly, possibly making life altering bad decisions as they mature? I'm terrified and sad. |
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