is this the behavior of a guy who actually cares about me?

Post date: 2020-09-22 11:31:41

I'm looking for some insights on how to interpret a recent situation with my boyfriend whereby he's moving in with an ex...

The context: we (me 32yrs, him 30yrs) have been going out for 1.5 years. We had been friends for 10 years prior to this but always lived in different parts of the world. He has a history of doing the polyamory thing (with girls) but that hasn't been the case for a few years. Our relationship trajectory has never been the standard 'house & kids' pathway, as neither of us are particularly thrilled at those ideals. We currently live in separate places, he lives with his brother.

The situation: he's moving in to a house with three other people who he's known for several years. One of them is an ex-girlfriend from a few years ago who he's been close friends with ever since and has also casually hooked up with a few times since they broke up.

I hadn't really thought about it much until the other week, and he's never said anything to me about it. So I decided to ask him about it, seeking some reassurance on whether I should or shouldn't have any reason to be concerned about him living in super-close proximity to this girl.

When I asked him explicitly about whether my thoughts, my feelings, any potential unease or opinion I had on the situation had come across his mind since he'd decided to move there, his answer was an absolutely definitive "no, not at all" and "if anything, i just wondered what the dynamic in the house will be like living with an ex".

Whilst I value his ability to be entirely honest with me, my interpretation of this was that I am very unimportant to him and I felt incredibly insignificant.

Is there another way I should have interpreted this or does this guy just really not give two craps about me?

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