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Posted On:
2022-12-01 18:24

One day, my brother and I realized that we could no longer simply get along as well as we had as children, that we could never cross the mire of reality. I could not always provide for his material needs as much as my parents expected me to. Every time we talked on the phone, I didn't want to mention my brother to my parents. This was because every time we spoke, they complained one more time about my brother's failures in society, his inability to find a good job, his lack of money to live on, his inability to find a girlfriend, his inability to earn a dowry for marriage, as if I had something to do with all of that. And when I earned my doctorate and moved alone to a city thousands of miles from home, it was also, in the eyes of my parents and relatives, a deliberate act of trying to escape family responsibilities.

The siblings were the fruit of the same branch that fell to earth, but because of our parents' union, they planted the seeds of rebellion in each other's hearts. Even if such assistance came from blood and from the outside they knew that they loved each other, if that love was at the expense of each other's happiness or with complete disregard for their private lives, brothers who started from a single point were bound to fall into the sorrow of condemning each other out of some practical interest somewhere in the future. They are bound to fall into the trap of blaming each other out of some practical interest.

The moral of the story that my mother was best at feeding my sister and I when we were young was that a woman in the East Village who, after getting married, worked diligently to save money without ever eating oil or salt, would build her two brothers each a large tiled house, and she actually realized her ambition and became a legend in the town during the 1980s and The woman actually realized her ambition and became a legend in the town during the 1980s and 1990s. Whenever I hear such stories, I wonder if these women, praised by their fathers as role models, were happy in their own lives. Could it be that they really were not dissatisfied with the life their parents dictated for them?

Years later, my friend repeated this story because her mother drew a circle on the dinner table with chopsticks and told her to never leave the place where she grew up for the rest of her life. After graduate school, she broke up with her boyfriend, who had a steady job in a seaside town, and returned to her hometown. Her much-loved boyfriend had to find a new job in a strange city to find her. It was the most difficult time of her life, waiting two years for a job at an institution before moving to a formal facility. Her boyfriend had been unemployed for three years, a full-time job, because of the birth of their unexpected child. Even though she was living on her own salary, she begged me repeatedly to help her two older brothers manage their marriage and find work for them. I asked her, "Why do you have to go back? I sighed and wondered if my sister had the right to control my life.

While my siblingless classmates around me were resolutely quitting their jobs and starting their own businesses or traveling, many children like me were born into families with many children and were living in a state of helplessness under the pressure of their parents. Our lives are not ours alone, but belong to the whole family. My parents decided on my future career path soon after I was born, and my mother used to tell my sister and me that one of us would pay for my brother's marriage and the other would contribute.

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