My friend and I had a falling-out recently. Their grandmother, who presumably doesn't know what happened, sometimes sends packages for my friend to my address. How do I ask her to stop doing that without giving details about what happened?
I posted on here a little over a week ago about a falling-out I had with my friend "Lee." (If you don't want to go back and read the post, basically my best friend suddenly and unexpectedly ended our friendship a few weeks ago.) I'm not looking for further advice on that front, but there's a related situation that I'm not sure what to do about.
I'm Facebook friends with Lee's grandmother, "Alice". She likes and comments on most things I post. (Lee doesn't have Facebook, but they do know that Alice and I are friends on there.) Alice hasn't unfriended me or changed anything about the way she interacts with me on there, so...I assume she doesn't know? That's surprising to me, since she and Lee are quite close. (Or maybe they did tell her but she wants to stay friends on social media anyway, or Lee told her a different story than what they told me, or any number of possibilities. But I think the most likely reason is that she doesn't know.)
Normally I wouldn't care whether or not Alice knows what happened - she's Lee's grandma, not mine, and Lee is free to tell her or not tell her whatever they want. The problem is that Alice will occasionally send packages for Lee to my address so that I can give them to Lee next time I see them. (I don't know why she does this, since Lee has their own mailing address, but I digress.) She doesn't tell me in advance when she's doing this - she'll usually send me a Facebook message once it's in the mail, letting me know that Lee's birthday/Christmas/whatever gift is on its way. This hasn't been a problem in the past, but for obvious reasons I'd prefer for it not to happen going forward.
Lee's birthday is in the not-too-distant future, and I'm worried that Alice is going to send their gift to my address and I won't know until after it's already in the mail. I guess the obvious solution is to preemptively ask Alice not to send it to my address, but every time I start typing a message, I get stuck. I don't want to tell her what happened, because 1) that feels like unnecessarily stirring up drama with Lee's family, and 2) I feel like it should be up to Lee whether or not Alice knows about the situation. But if I just say, "Please don't send packages for Lee to my address anymore" with no context, then there's a good chance she'll ask me why. I guess I could make up a reason, but I can't think of anything that sounds plausible.
I could contact Lee and ask them to tell Alice to send packages to their address from now on. I'd really rather not contact Lee right now, though.
The third option is to cross that bridge if/when I come to it - Alice might not send Lee's birthday gift to my address, after all. Worst case, I'd have to deal with the awkwardness of getting the gift to Lee. But then I'd still have to tell Alice not to send future gifts to my address, which brings me back to my original problem.
I feel like I'm overthinking this, but at the same time, I genuinely don't know what to do here! What would you do in this situation |
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