'Guidance' type books on sex for teenagers?

Post date: 2022-12-05 00:56:49

Inspired by this question. Looking for books on sex, sexual relationships, consent, self-knowledge and consent for teenage girl. Doesn't have to be 100% about sex and sex alone. Looking for something direct and funny and not finger-waggly but that talks to the reader respectfully, intelligently, and in detail.

TL/DR: question's above. Brain dump and additional details below.

When our daughter (14) was younger we bought her books about sex and reproduction appropriate to her age. I don't think she is ready to have sex or wants to - we discussed going on birth control pills to help control acne* and she was a bit like 'whoa' in the same way she was when I explained why she was getting an HPV vaccine. A bit like she'd been given a drivers license with no intention of driving a car.

While I talk to her and will continue to do so, it's helpful to have other voices besides your mom and your peers and your school in the mix.

Some considerations that would be useful addressed in resources:

-Self-knowledge and awareness about relationships and what good ones are like. Sex should be fun, and anyone you have sex with should be a person around whom you feel safe and good about yourself.

-The difference between STD prevention and birth control and why both matter.

-Being informed about sex and thinking about it doesn't mean you have to have sex or are ready to have sex. It just means you're informed about the topic.

-Sexual activity can mean a lot of different things.

-Masturbation. It exists. Everyone does it.

-Trans perspectives. She has trans friends and friends who wrestle with gender identity or are identifying as fluid or non-binary.

-Sexual preferences. She was asked out by a girl a while back but declined. I think she's basically hetero, but the book needn't assume that all kids are hetero or that all first times are hetero, or that sexual preference is always a lifelong contract. (She doesn't know this--Mom's thoughts on sex don't come up!--but I realized I didn't have a sexual preference when I was about twelve.)

-Gosh I would love it if a message was included in there to 'go to a trusted adult for help or support if you need to. The awkwardness won't kill either of you, and it's worth getting past it to get the help and information you need.' Although now that I'm typing it, I realize I can say that to her as well.

With regard to the question linked upthread, I'm all for having condoms in the bathroom. I will wait a while to avoid seeming like she's being onboarded into an inevitability she wasn't up for considering in the first place. I'm menopausal, and she's an only child, but I could just put them in the bathroom and say those are for her or any friend of hers that ever needs them so she doesn't feel like it's her personal sexual inventory system; just a resource. No questions asked.

*She brought up the acne thing spontaneously; said the look of it didn't really bother her but it's painful and she uses a prescription topical cream but it hasn't helped. I was happy with her ease about talking about it; that she didn't seem torn up about it - just she'd like to solve a problem. We'll talk to a doctor about options.

Please click Here to read the full story.