I want to pursue a degree that is largely a math degree, and I am really trying to figure out if it is something I can do at my age with my (lack of) math skills, if I work hard at it. I have always identified as being "bad at math", avoided it where I can, and yes, internalized "women are bad at math". I am 45 years old, which concerns me about tackling a subject that I will likely struggle with. But I want to switch to the the data science undergrad degree and as my advisor explained, its more math that computers. Its calculus and then some.
I want to believe if I work hard, yes I can learn this. I also recognize there is a huge mental block of being afraid of math. My most recent math experience was not good; when I started school again in 2019, I hadn't had a math class for 20+ years. My advisor at the time assured me I would have no problem keeping up with the college algebra course I had placed into 20 some years ago; and even if I did, I would easily be able to catch up with the tutoring they offered. It didn't work that way, and I ended up dropping it because I couldn't khan academy my way to where I needed to be.
I have had other struggles in life, disability related, financial, mental illness, and so school has been rocky and I ended up withdrawing one semester, not going another. I do have continuing challenges, but at least for the moment, will only be doing school part time so I have some buffer. However, I also have adhd, which impacts working memory, and at 45, I have come to see that I can't always learn things the way I see other students pick them up. I'm just slower.
That being said, I already knew I wanted to go into data science when I started going back to school, and knew I'd need at least calculous to do the work I wanted to do. Plus just as a personal accomplishment, I felt I wanted to learn at least that far to prove I could. I resisted my advisor's attempts to get me to take the "easy" math class that would fulfull requirements.
At the time I started in school again, the data science program was masters level. I knew I wanted to do that, (along with psychology), and so I joined the information science and technology program as a stepping stone. But having worked in the tech field in a number of capacities, I was finding myself just bored and annoyed I would have to take classes either I've already had working experience in or I had enough knowledge to know I didn't want to waste my time (and money) learning. Even before some of the other issues I was having outside of school, I was feeling disenchanted. And when expressing this to my advisor, he pointed out that they added a data science undergrad degree in the short time I was out of school again.
Its EXACTLY what I wanted to do the moment I set foot in school. But I keep going in circles here - are my math problems something I can work hard and overcome, or is that impractical to the point of not being worth it. I am not against the hard work of tackling a difficult subject, I just am afraid I won't be able to, at least not in a meaningful time frame.
One problem that I've discussed with a number of people when first going back to finish my undergrad degree, was that I felt that most of my classes were too easy, the information went too slow, and as someone with adhd, it really caused me to struggle with focusing and staying interested. I think that is the one piece that might be counting in my favor, that this might be challenging enough to hit the right buttons to really engage me.
I am including the list of courses for this program for those who want to know more about the specifics of what math I would need to learn. I also know so little of math, that maybe I'm mischaracterizing as advanced math.
I am someone that has always learned best on my own, and school has been difficult because of this. But the flip side is that it is doubtful I would learn this without the structured environment of school pushing me down a path to do so. I've often reflected on taking on math on my own up to learning calculus, but felt without any guidance, I had no where to start and it became a "someday I'd like to..." idea. |
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