My longest, closest friend has dumped me, or at the very least, has declared we are on a break. This whole situation has completely blindsided me, and while I understand this is mostly out of my control, I want to do the right thing and let my friend know they are important to me. I have been told to respect their boundaries by not contacting them, and I totally will if that's the right thing, but I can't help but feel like I should try one last time.
The shortest possible story is that Friend was upset by something I did, didn't bring it up with me, and by the time I reached out they were furious and their mind was already made up. I had no idea they were upset and had no idea my actions* had hurt them, but I of course apologized (a lot) because I value Friend and also understand that sometimes people can be hurt by things regardless of your intent. Ultimately, Friend did not accept my apology, or believe that I had acted without any intent of harm or malice, and told me they needed space and that I need to respect their boundaries. I said I would give Friend space but was not just going to let our friendship go because they are too important to me.
So, I obviously hear what Friend is saying, but a huge part of me can't help but wonder if there is a way I could reach out just one last time, to say I care for them and understand they don't want to talk to me, and I will not bother them again, but just to say I have thought a lot about the issues raised, am trying to learn how to do better in the future, and I love them. They have an important day coming up and it doesn't seem right to me to not send them some kind of acknowledgement of it.
Am I just going to make this worse if I reach out? Is it disrespectful/harmful to give it one more try? Will Friend simply feel more justified in ending our friendship if I don't reach out? I know even if I do reach out, that may not help to mend things faster, if ever.
throwaway email: dumpedfriend@gmail.com
*I think it's worth adding my offense here was not by saying something mean/racist/sexist/xenophobic/otherwise objectionable and justifiably worth ending a friendship over. Think more like failing to be supportive or communicative in the way Friend needed. |
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