Reaching out to an ex friend when they've told you not to

Post date: 2021-04-15 17:19:09
Views: 20
My longest, closest friend has dumped me, or at the very least, has declared we are on a break. This whole situation has completely blindsided me, and while I understand this is mostly out of my control, I want to do the right thing and let my friend know they are important to me. I have been told to respect their boundaries by not contacting them, and I totally will if that's the right thing, but I can't help but feel like I should try one last time.

The shortest possible story is that Friend was upset by something I did, didn't bring it up with me, and by the time I reached out they were furious and their mind was already made up. I had no idea they were upset and had no idea my actions* had hurt them, but I of course apologized (a lot) because I value Friend and also understand that sometimes people can be hurt by things regardless of your intent. Ultimately, Friend did not accept my apology, or believe that I had acted without any intent of harm or malice, and told me they needed space and that I need to respect their boundaries. I said I would give Friend space but was not just going to let our friendship go because they are too important to me.

So, I obviously hear what Friend is saying, but a huge part of me can't help but wonder if there is a way I could reach out just one last time, to say I care for them and understand they don't want to talk to me, and I will not bother them again, but just to say I have thought a lot about the issues raised, am trying to learn how to do better in the future, and I love them. They have an important day coming up and it doesn't seem right to me to not send them some kind of acknowledgement of it.

Am I just going to make this worse if I reach out? Is it disrespectful/harmful to give it one more try? Will Friend simply feel more justified in ending our friendship if I don't reach out? I know even if I do reach out, that may not help to mend things faster, if ever.


throwaway email: dumpedfriend@gmail.com

*I think it's worth adding my offense here was not by saying something mean/racist/sexist/xenophobic/otherwise objectionable and justifiably worth ending a friendship over. Think more like failing to be supportive or communicative in the way Friend needed.
Number of Comments
Please click Here to read the full story.
 
Other Top and Latest Questions:
A follow up to my automated transcription question
Remind me of a verse, Beowulf edition
Primer on taxes as policy?
Abstaining from alcohol makes my mornings worse?
Answered: Can you delete users?
Shogun: Ladies of the Willow World Show Only
Help me win Easter!
What do I wear to tai chi? And work.
article, op-ed, or blog post about burnout causing inability to speak
Delicious in Dungeon: Snacks/Sorbet