Reinventing your sexual self post divorce

Post date: 2021-02-22 04:14:59

I am really, really ending my marriage. (I couldn't find that thread from years back where he was tracking my behavior in a notebook, accused me of having BPD, and then made an account here just to defend his actions, so I linked a different one.) Like, really this time, just made our parenting plan and everything. I am excited to explore the wlw side of my personality when the divorce is filed. I need some help exploring this part of my identity so I can effectively navigate that world.

Not sure what I'm asking for exactly. I identify as queer, and have had relations with women but never dated a woman. I want to date women when I am done with my marriage. There are all these terms being used in the spaces I'm exploring and I don't know which ones apply to me. I don't know what expectations come with them (i.e. I know I can't fulfill the expectations of a "butch" but don't know whether I can fulfill the expectations of a "soft butch"). I'm pretty sure I'm not a "boi" or a "lipstick" but how do I know for sure about that?

I'm also embarrassed to be just now entering this world. I'm sure there's plenty of mothers entering the wlw space after a marriage, but I am feeling self conscious. I need to understand cultural protocols that I don't have awareness of.

I know at the end of the day a relationship is between two individuals but I also know there are cultural norms for each segment of the dating world and I want some education on what those are. Where do I find that?

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