My previous question was here: https://ask.metafilter.com/345655/Nervous-Breakdown-Covid-19-and-Work-How-Can-I-Overcome-This
I'm giving an update with additional question and more answers now six months have passed.
- First off thank you for the outpouring of support, kind words, and people who messaged me directly with advice and kind words.
-Funnily enough, I looked back at my first Mefi post I wrote 7 (soon to be 8) years ago. https://ask.metafilter.com/232393/Graduating-soon-with-a-BA-from-a-Canadian-Uni-Job-search-help-please-I-have-two-years-writing-experience
- I had graduated with a Philosophy degree and was positive I would work as a journalism. It's funny sometimes how life works out! I never thought I'd be here today.
- I lucked out and got a job with the Federal government. I'm in help desk, working with a small team.
- I support a very specialized software suite in addition to regular support requests. While my job was interesting at first, I'm extremely bored right now.
- I did have offers with other companies (Managed Service Providers), but I felt those jobs would be high stress and demanding, which are things I didn't want to deal with while I got "better."
- Of course I know I will need to accept that I'm autistic, have ADHD, and struggle with anxiety/depression. These aren't things that hinder me, they simply make me who I am.
- I'm seeing a psychologist, and the psychologist follows an ACT model, or Acceptance Commitment Therapy.
- The core idea is I'm to embrace my thoughts, thank them, and then work towards bettering the thing I'm worried or upset about. For example: I'm worried that I'm not saving enough money, so I will create a budget, and follow it. As a result, I will feel great a few months or year later when I have a lot of savings in my bank account.
- The problem is I feel "stuck." I catastrophize that I'm not earning enough, I have a dead end job with the government, and I'm slowly losing my skills
- Of course this is silly, as life never ends - there's a lot of things I can study, and plenty of people go back to school in their 30s or 40s.
- An interesting quote I read today is "Is any profession worth it? Try doing the thing you like most every day, and eventually you'll get full of it. The same goes for your job. One day you'll wake up and say to yourself, is this all there is to life?! That's just how it goes I suppose. Try not to think long-term and instead enjoy each moment given to you. You'll hate your job either way you put it. Good luck."
- Overall, I will say I'm doing better than before, and I feel I'm on the right track in terms of learning to deal with my emotions.
- Any advice on what to do now? Apologies of my thoughts aren't coherent. |