A girl I had a fling with and fell very much in love with is visiting London. Things didn't really end well, it would be nice to get some closure I guess. Am chewing over the idea of reaching out again.
Two questions in a week! The girl from this question, two years ago, is back in town. She's "V" in this question I asked a few days ago.
H told me that V is back in town for a few days with her boyfriend. He heard this from R; V's going back to the houseshare to visit her, I think. V had previously told R she hadn't been in touch because she thought I wouldn't want to hear from her. (Again, I'm hearing this all secondhand from H.)
Things between us didn't end well. A coda to my first question: she travelled Europe for the summer, leaving me pretty much in pieces. In October of that year, I reached out asking if she was passing through London on her way back to NZ. She said she wasn't. I suggested a phone call which she said sounded nice, but cellphone reception issues got in the way (she was in remote Iceland), and she then decided that actually "we're in different places... I don't see having a call as benefiting either of us" and "I'm set on drawing a line under my relationships in London". I told her that made me terribly sad, that I'd miss her, and to look me up if she's ever passing through London.
That was nearly two years ago. We haven't spoken at all in the intervening period, so I've no idea how she looks back on it all - your guess is as good as mine.
I have a girlfriend now, she has a boyfriend who's coming with her on her visit. But the ending left things sour, and I've longed to see her again, maybe to remind myself she's just a person – an amazing person, but someone with quirks and rough edges and incompatibilities.
Honestly, I wish H hadn't told me, and I've since told him I don't want further updates about her. But I can't un-know this.
Should I reach out to her, suggest we meet? I know the rational thing is not to, but I always do the rational thing—block exes, go no contact, try to move on. Part of me thinks this leaves no room for serendipity or the possibility of something good happening. It's unromantic. We did care for each other once, spent many hours entwined on the sofa in that house, shared secrets and longings. And if I don't get in touch with her now, when would I? Or is she someone I should just never expect to speak to again? I'm not sure I can cope with that idea.
(Also seems plausible that maybe now isn't the greatest time to reach out - per my previous question there's lots of drama in that whole circle, the revelations about diary reading and maybe rent stealing have left me reeling a bit; she's going to visit R who for all I know will say nasty things about me etc.)
PS - for more squishy stuff, you can read something I wrote ~a year ago about this relationship, I guess as therapy, which I have yet to publish. |
Video
Web
Image
Music
BlogU
