Hi Grandma, Relax, We have a Newborn

Post date: 2024-04-23 03:19:30

We're having our second in less than two weeks, and my parents are coming to watch our toddler and will help for a day or two. I'd like a script to help my mother not be overbearing with the newborn and try to do too much as she did with newborn last time. Help me with a strategy/script on this that makes this likely and ensures my wife gets to spend quality first couple days with the baby. Snowflakes inside

- my wife is white or "American" as they say.
- My mom has never worked, is South Asian (and traditional, grew up in the villages in the 50s and 60s) and she loves newborns, infants and kids. It's the only thing she feels like an expert in. (she had 3 kids within 1 year)
- Our family is very passive/guess culture/non confrontational.
- My wife asked me to remind my mom this and she was visibly shaking/angry from the first experience (my mom would ask for baby, thinking that holding baby and feeding him-- her thought). She somewhat blames my parents coming for her shortened breast feeding experience (they came to help after about a month of bodhi)
-What we want our parents to do: help with toddler, clean house, cook meals
-What we're ok with: my mom holding baby for short periods until she's older, not 'taking over'
-Ok with asking them they should go home shortly after we return (but not immediately)
-Typical mefi responses like "that's not possible", are not helpful.

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