I'm currently working as interim CTO at a technology company. I'm a contractor, and I'm considering whether or not to apply for the role on a FTE basis, but I'm worried about just adding yet another middle-aged white male C-suite member to the world.
The C-Suite at this company is 100% male, 80% white, and entirely in the age range of 40-60. My predecessor in this role was a jewish woman in her 30s, and the CEO of the company has said that in an ideal world he'd employ another woman, preferably a person of colour, as the permanent CTO, but has invited me to apply anyway if I wanted the role permanently.
I know that I'd be in with a good shot at the role if I applied: I've got a lot of experience in the industry, I've been with this company for a number of years and I know the ins-and-outs of its business, its tech stack, and its problems. I'm at the stage in my career where I want to start looking at doing something other than being an engineer — VP of engineering would have been the next logical step had this not come along.
I'm aware, however, of the massive privilege that I have in having this role, and having lived most of my life on easy mode compared to others. I'm aware too of how there are far too many white, middle-aged C-suite members, especially in tech. Whilst I can't control what would happen were I not to apply, I can't help thinking that the moral thing to do would be to just stand aside so as not to add more noise to the hiring process than necessary.
(I'm also aware that this could be self-sabotage to stop myself from feeling like a failure if I don't get the role; I can't wholly trust that this isn't that, and I'll address that with my therapist. But on the basis that I'm not just trying to make excuses for my own inadequacies I'd like some feedback on my moral overthink) |
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