When to quit therapy? When to find a new therapist?

Post date: 2019-03-24 13:01:15

Inspired by, and related to, this question previously. I've been seeing a therapist for eight months now and am frustrated at the lack of progress. Is it time to try something else?

I've been seeing a therapist for eight months now. At the start:

I had quit a previous job after a month due to feelings of excruciating daily humiliation and inadequacy

Had no friends

Zero sexual experience as a gay man over 40 years old

Consumed by feelings of loneliness

Today:

I'm in a new job, where every day is a painful, humiliating, anxiety-ridden struggle

Have no friends

Zero sexual experience as a gay man over 40 years old

Consumed by feelings of loneliness

Am almost a year older and poorer for it, as I'm paying out of pocket

During therapy, I am honest. I don't prevaricate. I listen. I try to be patient, hoping that this therapy is going somewhere.

I understand how treatment-resistant my condition is, so I don't necessarily blame the therapist. If I had to guess, it's rooted largely in attachment disorder and shame as an adolescent, that is beyond my capacity to unravel.

But I am very frustrated. If I went to any other professional - plumber, doctor, physical therapist, neurosurgeon - I would expect and require a treatment plan with the expected, concrete results.

But what is this expensive noodling and verbiage? Where is this going?

I don't know what other people go through at work - I know everyone has their struggles - but for me, every moment of every day is painful and humiliating. After eight months of therapy, the better part of every day is still painful and humiliating and excruciating.

Am I "cured"? Am I fixed? So is this all I can expect from therapy?

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