Why am I rejected by people I thought were my friends?

Post date: 2018-04-26 21:17:03

I am struggling today because I found out that a colleague (my supervisor actually) is getting married, invites have gone out and I am not invited. I always seem to be cut out when it comes to weddings, even when I thought the person was my friend. Help?

So with my supervisor she is gay and got engaged ages ago but only just managed to start planning a wedding when gay marriage was legalised in Australia recently. I thought we got along well and have always tried to be nice to her but she did not invite me, but did invite another colleague (who is also engaged but is setting a date for 2019)

With my group of friends they mostly live in a different city to me, my hometown, which I travel back to regularly. There have been a series of about 6 weddings in recent years in that group and I only got invited to one. I thought they were my friends but being rejected so much makes me a lot less sure. It is made worse by the fact that my sister got invited to all the weddings as she knows these girls too.

Then there was my cousin, who got married about a month ago without inviting any of his cousins, only Aunts and Uncles, Grandma etc. I was upset because my sister had him and his then girlfriend at her wedding and he did not reciprocate even with her. Admittedly I do not know him or his wife that well but we are friends on Facebook, I have always tried to support him (likes, wish him a happy birthday etc) and I thought inviting family was compulsory!

So I have a pretty bad track record when it comes to being invited to weddings (at age 35 I have had five invites and two I could not attend due to being overseas long-term at the time)
I have no idea what to tell you about clues as to why this might keep happening to me. I am pretty quiet, introverted person but I have known the so-called friends for nearly a decade now.

I try to get along with people and I am not badly behaved eg alcoholic, rude, stingy with gifts, inappropriately dressed and I don't hold any unusual beliefs like racism or homophobia.

The question: can anyone help me figure out why I keep getting excluded? I don't want this to make me bitter and jaded, how can I avoid that?

I'm not in a relationship if that matters so I can't ask my SO (boys do not take an interest in me either but that is for another ask) and if I asked my sister I would not get a straight answer even though I'm pretty sure she would know. Help!

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