Late condolences, a slight variation

Post date: 2023-06-01 09:43:38

How do I best send my condolences to a co-worker when their spouse passed almost 3 months ago? I have a lovely card but have been dithering, procrastinating, overthinking, and genuinely forgetting to write it... now I'm worried it is almost offensively late.

I've read all the previous AskMe's on this topic, but I feel this is an important variation, since I knew of this death at the time it happened but didn't acknowledge it at that time. I was uncertain about attending the service and decided against it, as a large group of work friends attended, many of whom (unlike me) actually knew the spouse, and I felt I would be intruding somehow. I am not close to this co-worker and don't interact with them often, although they are a wonderful person I feel warmly about, and as far as I know, they have been on leave ever since their spouse passed. I was thinking of a simple message like, "I am sorry this card is late but I wanted you to know I am thinking of you and so very sorry for your loss." Do I need to mention the "late" bit or does that sound like I'm trying to make it about me and my forgetfulness?

Sorry for the overthinking. I know I want to express my condolences and support - I've regretted not doing so in the past, mainly out of genuine ignorance about what the "right" thing to do was and what would be welcome to the bereaved party at that time. I think about that omission often, and had hoped to do better going forward.

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