What to say to coworkers about upcoming stress leave?

Post date: 2023-01-25 05:19:38

My departments culture is healthy. We are team oriented and most of us are pretty open with each other. (My larger workplace culture is very optics oriented and emotionally feels unsafe because of that.) My doctor was pretty insistent about my need to use FMLA for 3 weeks and then possibly more ad hoc/intermittent to recover from burnout. I can't decide how much to say and whether to be as apologetic as I want to be.

Apparently my internalized ableism is alive and well because I'm overwhelmed with shame for having to take time off and feeling very guilty about how the work will be distributed. My mother died in October and everyone was so kind and helpful. I think if they know something about the reason I'm so burned out they will be more understanding. But is it bad for my career to say so?

Someone else in our area but a different department had to take time off for a sudden medical event. She was pretty open about it, when she returned they welcomed her back at the monthly meeting, etc. But taking time off because you have a heart attack at work and taking time off because you have a special needs child whose school doesn't even really believe you, and when people hear you describe what is happening at home will just think you're a shitty parent, that just hits different.

I'm thinking maybe I'll just be vague? Say that my son is having complex medical issues that have been more overwhelming than I anticipated, and the stress of finding appropriate services has taken a toll? I do want to say something to my supervisor and my counterpart who will take on the bulk of my tasks. I'm just not sure what. I want to apologize for the burden they will have because of this situation. Is that ok? Am I somehow setting myself up for an unknown political problem at work by vaguely giving a reason behind my sudden 3 weeks off and apologizing for the extra stress it may put on them?

One of my coworkers knows what's been happening but she's in a different area and I can trust her to maintain my confidentiality.

Any suggestions for things I can say to myself to help me feel better about this? Because I just feel so much shame right now. I feel like a failure. My doc said she thinks I need to take time off and asked how long do I need and I said idk a week? She said a week isn't long enough for your body to recover from fighting fires constantly.

I'm so sad that I could not prevent things from getting to this point and feeling like it's my fault that I didn't cope better.

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