I think for a long time I've explained away my extreme laziness and procrastination with my deep anxiety and depression. It has definitely been significant.
However recently, I've been thinking how I've always been like this from a very young age, even when I didn't have full blown mental health issues. Admittedly, I think I was a very anxious child but I wonder, is part of it a genetic thing?
Some examples of my laziness are I just hate exerting myself in any way, I feel huge resistance and fatigue even just thinking about tidying or cleaning. When I go for a run, within 30 seconds my brain is screaming at me to stop, even when I don't feel exhausted or in pain. It's obviously worse since my depression but even when I was young and relatively mentally ok (I think), I was like this.
My family always called me slow and lazy, I'm also very unobservant and just not present.
It boggles my mind when I witness or hear of people who were always physically and mentally active, actually enjoy running, for example and don't appear to encounter any mental resistance whatsoever between the thing they want to do and their mind. Could it be that they are more present and less anxious, or is it something in their brain chemistry, their genes?
I tend to vegetate a lot, I find it hard to actually do *anything* physical, even mentally thinking about it exhausts me.
This translates across to my attitude towards mental exertion, in all honesty. I'm mentally lazy too, I can't be bothered to think, planning ahead is super difficult and thinking about anything in detail is so offputting. I've spent most of my twenties vegetating in front of Netflix. My jobs have been entry level, inputting invoices - basically the finance equivalent of factory work which has also deadened my mind.
I feel like my brains' turned to mush.
I've gone off the point here and I'm not sure I've explained myself well, but has anyone else experienced procrastination and laziness that they feel kinda like is part of "their character"?
And how do you work most effectively at overcoming it and being a more mentally and physically active person? Has anyone managed to turn this around? |
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