plumbing doesn't work but still...

Post date: 2022-05-19 05:32:56

I'm childfree by choice. I also am not able to have children even if I wanted to. But this potential overturn of Roe v. Wade is wigging me out. Help me figure out my options.

I am 37 years old. I have PCOS and do not ovulate. This has been established medically about me since I was 16 years old. I am fine with this as I have never wanted to have kids, even before I was diagnosed with PCOS. My long term partner has two kids who I have known since they were small. We wouldn't be together if I wanted kids of my own - he doesn't want more. I do take hormonal birth control as part of my PCOS treatment but I skip the placebo pills most of the time so I only get a period 4x a year. (I have very bad PMDD symptoms during my period.)

So all good, right?

Except now in the wake of this Roe v Wade thing I'm contemplating nightmare scenarios. Birth control pills are not 100% effective (I know two women who got pregnant while on hormonal BC). What if one day one of my wonky ovaries drops an egg and my BC fails and I get pregnant? What if one day one of my wonky ovaries drops an egg and it's in the wrong place and I end up with an ectopic pregnancy? Are these things I unlikely? Yes, very much so, but it wouldn't be unprecedented - I also have a friend who was diagnosed with PCOS, told she'd never get pregnant, and then ended up getting pregnant. (This was a good thing for her. Would not be for me.)

I live in New York state and have significant financial means so it's also unlikely that I would not be able to have access to safe abortion options should they be needed. But once that Supreme Court opinion got leaked I cannot unring this bell of fear.

I've thought it was fucking stupid for years that I should even have to have periods (even the "fake" ones that occur from hormonal BC) if I was childfree by choice and otherwise infertile. I have all of these reproductive organs in my body that I will never use, taking up space and needing to be dealt with for literally no reason. It's a fucking hassle.

If I wanted to do something to ensure a measure of permanent birth control, what would be my options? Tubal ligation? Hysterectomy? Are there any other possibilities? What are the downsides? Yes I know vasectomies exist and trust me that is very much on the table, but my non-working reproductive organs cause me nothing but a lot of headache and that would be the case even if I were single so I want to know what sorts of things I could start looking into before my next gynecologist appointment.

Thanks.

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