Arguments with partner

Post date: 2022-05-13 07:26:54

My (female) partner asked me yesterday whether women or men have more difficult lives. I am not great at answering these questions because I think the answers are very complicated and any simple answer is insufficient. I also don't want to answer the question because of how complicated it is (in some ways women have it harder, in other ways men do), do you think I have to answer the question? Is this something a couple can disagree on?

I have a hard time saying things I don't mean, so I can't just go along with something out of ease. She was incredulous that I didn't just say blanketly that women have harder lives than men. She saw it as a huge red flag and anti-feminist, she started getting very mad at me, and was questioning our entire relationship on the basis of being with a man that doesn't share the same immediate opinion. I've tried many times (over several days now) to back away from the conversation and try to leave it as "it's complicated and I don't know enough to say definitively either way," but to no avail. I'm also not sure why it's important, as I think almost everyone has really tough circumstances regardless of gender. It's either I agree with her, or I'm a monster. I have stated repeatedly that I don't want to be having this conversation, but now that I've been seen as disagreeing she won't let it go. This is blowing up our relationship, and the dynamics of these types of arguments don't happen infrequently. I think the world of women, and in all honesty think they should run the world. I'm mostly flummoxed as to whether I'm acting inappropriately and am the problem by not sharing her opinion. I may well be, but I sometimes need outside help to validate whether that's true.

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