Should I do this?

Post date: 2022-01-24 10:39:45

Should I go back to college as a 45-year old? When I was 17 I was accepted to Columbia University but I did not go because I could not afford it. When I visited the school back in the mid-90s, the students I stayed with were smart, kind and cool -- the sort of folks I hoped to befriend but never did when I managed to complete my bachelor's degree in my hometown in my mid-20s. Now I am old, pretty isolated, but gainfully employed here in NYC. I've been admitted to get a second BA degree at Columbia. I can afford it. Should I do it?

Please forgive me for reaching out to you, strangers, for help making such a big decision. I don't have many friends. I have always been a little weird. I long to find belonging, a community that is not wholly centered around dysfunction or illness. While I have accomplished a lot in my life, I have been unable to find a community. I do well at work but feel alienated. I appreciate my Brooklyn neighborhood but there is not a friendly face to be found. And now in Covid times, I foresee many lonesome years ahead. It is more than I can bear. Is going back to school a realistic option? Did I miss my chance to belong somewhere? If getting a second bachelor's is foolish, what is not foolish? I must do something. After ten years of therapy, a failed marriage, a decent but unexceptional career, and being childless at 45 (after several terminated pregnancies back when I was young and poor), I am pretty close to despair. Thanks for any suggestions and any kindness you can muster.

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