I took your advice to get some external feedback on interview skills. It seems that when I have a problem, I explain away and avoid taking responsibility. I come across arrogant. Any short-term tactics to correct this? More long-term advice? I'm doing something about this, finally.
Based on previous feedback, several people know me here and my job-related challenges. That in itself was a wake-up call. On my last related question, you were very direct with criticism (constructively) about my behavior and attitudes. (see link here) It was quite shocking to hear that a few of you recognized my user name or knew that it would be me based on previous questions I've asked. There were several recommendations of getting a coach which I took into account. I made a first step and paid for a semi-structured interview and feedback from a professional. There were quite a few things to work on suggestions.
The biggest concern and the one that I feel is the most challenging is that I try to "rationalize" away criticism (which I was able to minimize knowing that the entire exercise was criticism (constructive). You can call it making excuses, explaining things away, but basically this comes across pretty clearly , and is actual behavior that I should be concerned about. I agree. Whether you like them or not, I have a psychometric assessment feedback report specifically designed to assess "dark side" tendencies for personal development. The personality assessment feedback concurs with this person and way back in the past I had similar issues with an ex-girlfriend. I would rationalize reasons for our interpersonal conflicts and, why as I saw it from my point of view, she should not "overreact". From her point of view, she was reacting appropriately. With outside help. I did manage to overcome this problem. Although, it slightly different, I know about this problem and to some extent, I know how to not rationalize away people's feelings. That same tendency is showing its head here.
He said that I do not come across as an attractive candidate and sound like I don't do well in teams, probably resist criticism and dislike being limited by rules and procedures. I come across as a wild card. I also tend to go off into the weeds and get into tangential topics, which I am afraid of doing here, but I will include a few other things that are probably relevant and definitely additional context. I talk over people on calls (interviews in this case), which may be attention issues or nerves, but that doesn't make it acceptable or make me look like an attractive candidate.
I can work well in a team, but off the top of my head, most of these teams were composed of independent contributors, so those would be very loose teams by their nature. They wouldn't be highly collaborative. Other times, when I feel some others in a group are more invested in leading, I can let go and defer to them, within what I consider "reason". In those situations I am happy to offer up ideas and open to them being rejected and go with the flow. I CAN follow direction and defer to others. In many cases I do emerge naturally as a leader and people seem to look to me as a leader. I have demonstrated that I can behave in more acceptable ways, but do I always act that way? Clearly no, I don't.
I think a lot of the past criticisms I've received here are similar, In many cases on AskMefi, I absolutely preemptively rationalize problems. I think has been pretty obvious to you guys. I try to be transparent
I try to be as transparent here as possible. I have taken the step recommended in my previous question related to this. As several Mefites previously recommended, this person suggested coaching. Coaching seemed to be the recommendation given more than anything else. Coaching is expensive. I understand that it is an investment, but at the moment I'm skittish.
So, I need some short term tactics for interviewing. I know that "short term tactics" might be seen as cheating, cutting corners and looking for a quick fix and that the problem is really a longer term fix. I need a job now unfortunately so I need to work with what I've got and the challenges that I'm facing. Short-term tactics are baby steps. I get that. I'm working on this folks. Any additional thoughts and recommendations? |
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