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I cannot believe I am asking this

Post date: 2021-09-18 15:26:53
Views: 14
Facebook's algorithm is getting to me. Does anyone here own one of those DB Method machines? Do they work? I keep getting fed ads for them and I keep getting more and more intrigued and yet I feel like maybe this is dumb of me.

I don't know. I make fun of those awful Peleton ads and the whole Peleton culture/craze is so ridiculous and yet I know real actual people in my life who got a Peleton and love it. Those workout mirrors they advertise on TV? Look dumb as hell, and yet I know actual people who have those as well and love them.

Have y'all seen these DB Method ads on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube? When I first started seeing these ads last year I laughed and laughed like I did at Peleton and those sports mirrors because the DB Method just basically looks like a machine that helps you do deep squats and I can already do deep squats.

But the thing is... I DON'T do deep squats, despite being able to. I had ten months of unemployment due to the pandemic last year and I didn't do any excersize at all besides walking the dog, some halfhearted bicep curls once in a blue moon, and occasionally wailing on the punching bag in the basement which feels more like scream therapy to me (not that there's anything wrong with catharsis).

My back is mangled as fuck, from years of desk jobs, from years of playing shows with a heavy-ass bass guitar dangling from my body, from years of dragging heavy-ass amps around, from driving long distances, from having a rack of doom (big tits are heavy, y'all!), from having flat feet (orthotics didn't work, they made my legs numb), from having knees that hyper-extend. I have a rib on my right side that routinely pops out of place and causes me ridiculous pain. I also have a bum knee from a really dumb injury involving a band performance. I used to run, can't really do that with the knee. I used to swim, until my local gym closed due to COVID-19. I need to get back into shape, I need to lose weight, I need cardio and strength training to lose weight (doing both is the only way I have succeeded in weight loss before), and I really, really need better core strength because my back is so mangled. My chiropractor, who puts the rogue rib back where it belongs every 6-8 weeks says that my fucking right scapula is noticeably lower than my left, and my right hip is higher than my left. I am a fucking mess, and I'm only 36 years old.

So basically now these fucking DB Method squat machines are starting to look appealing to me because they include cardio, core strengthening, and are designed to be easy on the knees.

(Selfishly I also want to get back in shape before November when I have a photoshoot scheduled in preparation for my debut record's release this winter. Vanity prevails.)

The machines are not too terribly expensive at all and it seems to check all of the boxes in terms of what I need in a workout at this phase of my mangled back life.

But do these machines actually work or is it just a dumb scam to get people to do squats which is something that anyone can do without a machine? Am I a gullible fool for falling for this clever Facebook advertising?

Does anyone own one of these machines and is it worth it?

I literally cannot wear pants without elastic waistbands right now (see my previous question) and I gotta do SOMETHING.

SO. To DB Method, or not to DB Method? Lay it on me.
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