How to organize a household... with wildly different planning styles

Post date: 2021-09-16 04:25:36

Spouse and I have similar household goals, but different communication and planning styles. Looking for some ideas for how we can organize and communicate household tasks that will fit both of our styles.

I am much more of a planner/organizer/communicator. Spouse is much more of a fly by night/do things when feel like it/hates being told what to do (and admits to not doing things because of being "told" what to do because he feels like I'm nagging). This isn't a great match for keeping our household running, so we're trying to figure out a better method. Both of us are still WFH and we have a 1 year old who is home 5 days, with in-home child care 2 of those days.

Goals:
-Neat, organized house
-Household chores completed in a timely manner
-Neither of us feeling an undue burden, though not actually worried about how equal the division of labor is

Currently, our household is much more of a tasks get piled up/ignored til one of us begrudgingly deals with it. We get annoyed/resentful at the amount to be done, and have different priorities of what to do first.

I personally need some sort of concrete system/plan in place with a way to communicate. He'd rather just take personal initiative for doing things when he wants to. In the past, we've done "Reminders" lists as a way for me to list out what needs doing, and he can look at it by choice. However, out of sight, out of mind. I'd also like a way to put more seasonal/periodic chores in that default to me because I think of them.

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