I was offered a new job today, the position is quite a substantial step up from my current position. I'm excited and relieved that I was able to find a new job, but with the step up... oh man, I'm just afraid of the responsibility that comes with it (I'm a manager now!!)? How do I just... embrace it and go forward and stop being so terrified? Basically, I'm afraid of being awful in the new role and fucking this up!
So, despite my last few questions... basically asking for permission to not job search. I got my shit together and applied to quite a few jobs, had a number of interviews, and was offered a position (library manager at a small library)!! Yay! I am especially relieved because I've been working part-time for the last 7 months in a role I'm just *over*.
The new role scares me sooooo much, though!!! I haven't officially accepted it, but I am 99.8% sure I will. There are so many good things about the job. First, the pay is much better than my current position. It's in libraries, so it's not AMAZING, but it's better than what I am currently making (I can finally buy a new car now without feeling "guilty" about using too much of my savings, for example). It's relatively CLOSE to where I currently live (and where my mother lives). Honestly, it's a position that will give me lots of good experience (I think). The only downside is the commute -- right now it's 50-ish minutes one-way, but I am going to commute during the summer & fall and see how it goes. I'll probably move closer come winter.
Everyone I know professionally thinks that this opportunity is GREAT for me. My references were enthusiastic. An unofficial mentor encouraged me to apply, saying that she thinks it'd be perfect for me. Everyone is happy for me. Everyone thinks I'll be great... I guess.. except for myself...
Being like... the MANAGER of people TERRIFIES me? Being IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING (well, the library board is, but still) also terrifies me!! It feels like SOOOOOO much responsibility compared to the current positions I've had. Which is what I've wished for, but EEK. I am absolutely terrified that I will somehow fuck this up and be AWFUL!!!
What if I am an awful manager? What if... I am bad at networking? All these what if's!!! How do I embrace this new position and start on a good foot? Where do I begin? |
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