Psychedelic Therapy...Self guided?

Post date: 2021-03-02 06:42:45

At the recommendation of my psychiatrist, I would like to try using a mushroom to help me continue working through some big and tough stuff that has happened over the last three years. In a perfect world, I would like to do this under the care of an experienced therapist but for *reasons* I suspect that will not be possible. How do I lay the foundation for a positive self-guided or partner-guided experience in my own home?

Three and a half years ago I experienced a debilitating case of post-partum depression that lasted a year and half. Six months after my recovery I developed a rare and life-shortening immune disease that has forced me to step back from work that I love.

It is hard for me to reconcile myself to the person I am right now. I find myself thinking often and with longing about 'before' times. I am trying. I see a therapist weekly. I have a competent medical team. I take medication for my depression. I try to have perspective and practice gratitude. I am supported by my spouse, family, and friends. And I am desperately sad.

My psychiatrist suggested that I try using mushrooms to as another tool in my attempts to integrate and reconcile with the changes in my life. I've used mushrooms recreationally a number of times in my 20s and it was always a warm and wonderful experience, but (while I don't have a specific end goal) I would like this to be something more.

My husband is totally on board to help or I could try to find someone else to guide me but I live in a small city in Canada and I think finding a qualified and willing therapist would be next to impossible. I already have the mushrooms and am confident about dosing. What I am looking for is ideas for making this experience more powerful and healing.

Here are some ideas I have so far:
- Index cards with questions and ideas related to my experience.
- Poems and meditations related to chronic illness and experiences of the body.
- Music from different parts of my life that I have loved.
- Photographs of my children, my adventures from the past and from my life right now.
- Soft clothing and blankets
- Art supplies
- Books on chronic illness that I have appreciated with marked passages

My questions include:
- Are there things that you would add to this list?
- Are there any particular meditations, books, music you would suggest?
- Can I 'guide' myself (with my husband home to keep an eye on things) or should he or another trusted love one facilitate more actively?

Basically, what can I do to make this a positive and powerful an experience as possible? Thank you!

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