Learning to adult in middle age

Post date: 2021-02-21 07:11:54

I've lived all my life with others, but eventually that will change, and the idea of being on my own in middle age is both exciting and terrifying. I could use some stories of what it's like.

I am a 49-year old woman who has lived all her life with either parents or spouse. I have no children. Spouse is long gone and I've no interest in dating. I do not make close friends. I live with my elderly mother and we look after one another, but she is in her 80s and I know eventually she will be gone. I don't know when that will happen so I don't know how much time I have to prepare, or what that should consist of. I have some distant siblings who are all busy with their own families. I have some savings; enough that I am not immediately worried about financial survival on my own, and I could probably get a simple retail job and do okay. My needs are very simple. I'm in the US but would love to move to a more sensible place, but I don't have any special skills.

It will be the first time in my life when I am answerable to no one but myself. I get to decide where I live, and how. If I want to zip off to Cancun and blow all my money on margaritas, I can do that. But I'll also be totally alone; if I fall down and break my neck I'll lie there until I die. The absolute aloneness and freedom feels like it will break my sanity entirely. I'll have no one to tell me that what I'm doing is stupid or wrong or required. I'm both excited and terrified. I think of total freedom like that being for young healthy people who go off on round the world trips and find love and adventure; I don't have any mental stories for what happens to middle-aged introverts who are suddenly on their own. I would really appreciate any books about people, especially women, in this situation. Fact books, including "here's what you should do to have a safe comfortable life" type, and fictional stories all welcome. Personal stories also welcome! Thank you on advance.

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