Employers really, really like when you're good at things.
I'm looking for another job. Anything will do. I'm probably going to be fired next month. I've worked really hard to improve my performance, but I'm just not consistent, and my job is very metrics-driven. If you look through my post history, this exact same thing happened to me a few years ago (although I did stick it out longer there, lasted almost five years.)
Last year I was diagnosed with ADHD in addition to my other brain junk, which was helpful in the sense of understanding why I feel trapped in a loop of failure. It's inattentive-type, which means I space out really easily. I don't have the stereotypical hyperactivity. I'm on medication -- Prozac for the depression and guanfacine for the RSD/anxiety death spirals -- but I'm pretty sure I will not be given Ritalin or any stimulant.
In any case, medication only helps me to a certain point, and I'm pretty sure this job is just a bad fit. Unfortunately, a lot of jobs seem to be a bad fit.
In the short-term I'm going to take the first job that will have me in order to pay my bills, but if I'm going to survive in the long-term, I have to find something I'm good at, that pays ok.
Things I've been told I'm good at:
- Writing
- Staying calm in a crisis
- Listening
- Resiliency (apparently? sounds fake but I've heard this one quite a bit)
- Being nonjudgmental
- Working long hours at things other people find boring
- Problem solving/resourcefulness
Things I'm bad at:
- Basically everything employers want, LMAO
No but really. I'm terrible at:
- Math
- Logical thinking generally
- Coding
- Computers
- Handling financial stuff
- Time management (I'm completely time-blind)
- Anything involving detail
I feel almost unemployable. The only success I've had in my career was a brief period of time where I worked solely as a copywriter and just churned out blog posts and video scripts for my company. I got a 20% raise during that time. (Then they started wanting me to do more of the planning/strategy side of things and I was terrible at that, and got fired. )
Most of the jobs I think I'd be good at are things like: being a janitor. I don't mind minimum wage jobs, I currently work a side job that pays minimum wage + tips, so I have nothing against them but I'm chronically ill and need good health insurance, so I would really, really prefer not to be locked into that for the rest of my life.
An idea I've been floating around: a trade. Working with your hands requires a lot of skill, but once you master the skill (and critically, a lot of tradespeople seem willing to teach/take on apprentices) it seems like it would be easy to get into a flow state more often.
Thank you in advance for your thoughts-- I've been thinking about taking this to a therapist but I really need a hive mind. Hopefully someone sees this and has had similar experiences in the workforce, or know someone who does. |
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