Advice for discovering something unpleasant about a deceased loved one

Post date: 2020-09-22 09:57:00

I had a very good and relatively uncomplicated relationship with a parent who I loved very much and died not long ago. I recently discovered something very unpleasant on their computer and I'm really struggling with reconciling this with the parent I loved so dearly and was so close to.

(I guess what I discovered is relevant here. It was a collection of porn involving animals. I wasn't prying - I now use this computer as my own and it came up on an automated cleanup search for old and unused files).

Part of me knows that this doesn't affect what was our relationship but now, every time I think of my parent, all I feel is distress, sadness and anger because of my recent discovery. It has completely obscured my good memories and thoughts of them.

Does anyone have any perspectives or experience that might help me here? Please no judgment of my parent, I am doing enough of that myself right now. Throwaway email: unpleasantdiscovery@gmail.com.

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