Last week, I turned down a job offer, and 2 of the 3 references I used (both were former colleagues) do not know this. One followed up with me; what should I say?
I feel caught in a bit of an awkward situation; after declining the job offer last week, I talked with one of the 3 references that were contacted, a close friend of mine. She was fully understanding and supported, even encouraged me not to accept the job offer.
However, the 2 other references are former colleagues, so in that context, not close friends. One reference reached out to me today and said she put in a glowing letter, that she really hoped I would get the job offer, and that I highly deserved it. That made me realize how truly wet behind the ears I am with this procedure, and some guilt crept in as well. I feel bad because my references helped me out, and I ended up declining the job offer. Of course, when I asked them initially, I was sure to thank them, but I'm not sure how to follow up or what to say, especially when I didn't move ahead with the job offer.
Should I be honest (ie, the job offer did happen, but things weren't working out and I decided to go in a different direction), or simply say that things didn't work out with the job? I don't want to tell them I declined the offer, especially without sharing the context behind it, and get a side eye next time I ask them for a reference (they might think I'm flaky or indecisive, and not want to be a reference again), but I don't want to lie, either.
What's the best recommendation? Thanks! (and yes, I know I have to work on letting go of managing others' feelings) |
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