But that's the opposite of what you said you wanted – changed mind

Post date: 2020-02-27 10:33:04

A close friend of mine I'll call Jane was told in the fall of 2019, that come fall 2020 they would be transferred to another office (similar commute). This was upsetting for Jane. They like their office, like the people, the neighborhood etc. This impending move was a big deal for Jane and a near constant topic of conversation for us. I listened to Jane vent, commiserated, validated their feelings of how unfair this was for them, on days when they were feeling up to it we discussed the silver linings of the move. I became firmly entrenched on team 'this sucks, I'm sorry this is happening to you'.

Then, a few days ago, a miracle! Though a twist of fate (not their boss taking action, or them lobbying successfully to stay or anything like that) it turns out that they can stay where they are. Everything else, other colleagues, their job etc. will stay the same as it now. Or, since the wheels were partly in motion, they could make the choice to transfer. It's their call, and they have some time to decide. Jane hasn't fully committed, but told me that they are will likely take the transfer.

My response was "what the heck?!", and now I'm weirdly grumpy about this 180. They got what they told me they wanted, the chance to stay.

I have no skin in this game. This decision doesn't actually impact my life, but I've just spent so much time in a 'this move is terrible' head space, I'm oddly thrown by them changing their mind. You aren't me, but maybe you've been in a similar place, supporting a friend. What did you do, or what do you suggest I do to shake off this feeling, so I can be happy for their decision, whatever it might be.

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