My San Francisco-based friend has a 4 m/o daughter, and has had a very very tough time with pregnancy, birth, and the first few months of her baby's life. She needs help, but she's too overwhelmed to figure out where to start. Do any of you SFers have tips or resources for finding a nanny or other childcare help?
BACKGROUND!
My friend wrestled with infertility, had a SUPER traumatic birth, struggled with breastfeeding & lactation (and the eventual decision to mostly-FF), and has had a couple of traumatic events with the baby where they ended up taking her to the ER. Her husband is now working from home and she is at home with the baby, but they are EXHAUSTED and totally fried, and feeling super isolated and trapped. She definitely is suffering from PPD and probably some degree of PTSD from the trauma of birth/early weeks. (He probably is too ...)
They do not have any local family support (and no prospect of it for now) and perhaps worse, don't have any friends with similarly-aged children, so they have no built-in network of word of mouth resources.
They want to find some kind of regularly-scheduled help -- ideally a nanny or caretaker who could come in for a few hours, a few times a week (or a similar PT arrangement).
I do not think daycare is a preferred option at this point -- baby does not have any ongoing medical issues, she's just fussy (although not technically colicky) but at this stage their anxieties are so ramped up that they'd understandably be more comfortable with more focused in-home care.
They live in the Sunset District of SF, if that matters/helps.
QUESTIONS!
1. How did you find your nanny or other caretaker? Are there services, parent groups or other resources you would recommend? If they aren't able to find regularly-scheduled help, even being able to find a babysitter to watch the baby while they get dinner alone would be a break.
2. She is talking to her OB about finding a therapist, but do you have any recommendations for area therapists who might be experienced in postpartum needs? (My friend is asian-american, not that that necessarily matters but sometimes there's added cultural baggage in therapy)
3. Any local parent groups to recommend, for mom, dad, or both? They are very intelligent, science-based folks and would not be into the more ... crunchy type of parenting groups. Also, she basically can't breastfeed and anything that would add an iota of guilt to that battle is right. the f*ck. out.
4. I've also recommended that they look into meal deliveries for the time being. Area recommendations?
Thanks! Anything else I might be missing, I appreciate. |
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