Unvaccinated adult, travel, and measles outbreak

Post date: 2019-11-10 08:11:09

My 38-year-old partner's mum has just revealed they never vaccinated my partner against measles and whooping cough as a child. This is ahead of a holiday - with the mum- somewhere with a measles outbreak. I have a ton of questions, which include how to discuss this with their mum and where/whether to travel at all.

Partner's mum just sent an email sharing that my partner and their sibling never got vaccinated against measles and whooping cough. We had no idea my partner was not vaccinated and we both feel angry at this news. I believe that it's not morally okay to choose not to have your child vaccinated because that inaction - not getting the vaccine - risks harming other individuals. I don't want to have a discussion on the ethics of vaccination - please accept my premise and help me understand my choices within the constraint of said premise.

We may or may not manage to get vaccinated two weeks before we're meant to join the in-laws (said mum) in New Zealand.

Question One: This seems enough time given the medical advice I've come across. Is it? Or is the risk too high given the outbreak? (Yes, we're speaking with a doctor and following their advice.)

Partner might not manage to get vaccinated before the journey. To make things worse, there are people in our community including young children who are not vaccinated. In that case, it's clear to me we do NOT travel to New Zealand at all. Risking infecting other people in NZ and back here by being a vector is wrong, even if somehow the personal risk was acceptable (I don't think it is).

Question Two: Is it okay to travel somewhere else that's not having a measles outbreak?

I'm leaning towards no but I'm afraid my judgement is clouded because we work somewhere very isolated, very small and often toxic. Our break was to offer some much-needed decompression time. We both try to be the best human beings we can be under often stressful and challenging circumstances. And it's tough to stay positive if you can't get away once in a while and we won't be able to get away for another half year if we don't manage to get away during this window. But to knowingly risk harming other people is not okay. So it'd be useful to have calm, measured responses to help us make a moral choice here. I'm not asking you to give me permission to go somewhere else. I'm asking for qualified opinions on whether or not travelling somewhere else is morally permissible at all.

Question Three: How do we discuss this with partner's mum?

My approach would be to explain the facts as we know them - as neutrally as possible - and ensure that partner's sibling is aware (she has a young child too!). I think it's important to be clear on the facts and not accept any suggestion that it's okay not to vaccinate your children and that she was making a good choice, but we want to do this kindly. My partner's mum is a loving, affectionate person who thought she was being a responsible parent. It seems that she hadn't given this much thought until a recent medical check-up when her doctor informed her of the current measles outbreak in New Zealand. They're *really* looking forward to catching up with us. At the same time, I'm so angry at my in-laws - the mum for this wrapped thinking and (in)actions and for failing to inform my partner sooner - way sooner! - and the dad for enabling this. I'm livid. I don't want to vent my anger at her but I'm feeling very tired, frustrated and disappointed at this time. This was our holiday too and I'm concerned about my resilience if we don't get to go away for a few weeks. I also feel that mum can often be indulged too much but there is a cultural clash here - I'm far blunter than partner's family who value non-conflict and cohesion above all.

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