Morning Meditation Without Tears

Post date: 2019-10-28 04:58:19

I need a 20-30 minute guided meditation that I can do every morning, in bed, upon waking. I'm allergic to affirmations and most guided imagery. I used to enjoy metta meditation, and to tolerate mindfulness, but a recent mental health downswing has made both of those difficult. I don't know what other options I have. I'm looking for concrete suggestions, ideally of tracks I can either download or listen to online, but if you have ideas for general techniques I'll take those too - I just need something that won't make me feel worse.

I need this as part of my morning routine. I've always found mindfulness difficult but it's something that at times when I'm feeling really bad has triggered me into some really bad headspaces. It's also not a great morning technique for me - I prefer to practice it when I'm a little more awake. I've always enjoyed metta/lovingkindness meditation, but at the moment I'm struggling so much with thoughts that I'm poisonous and harmful to people that it's causing me intense distress. I just get the idea in my head that I am not capable of true metta and what feels good and warm to me will be intensely toxic to others, and I can't get it out. I will be working on this in therapy, but for the time being it's not a good technique for me.
Anything to do with positive affirmations ('you are wonderful, you are strong, you are full of light') makes me intensely annoyed and occasionally upset. Also, stuff that's primarily focused on physical relaxation doesn't work when I'm just waking up, because I'm often quite physically relaxed but mentally distressed. Mostly I want to be taken out of my head for a bit in a healthy way.

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