Our daughter is a bold and fearless kid, and loves to be the center of attention—unless it's in the context of an organized activity in which she is the center of attention, in which case she freezes, cries, and steadfastly refuses to participate. We want her to have the toolset to feel comfortable with these scenarios, even if it's just feeling comfortable sitting on the sidelines.
As an example—last year, she had a year-end dance recital at her nursery school. Based on past experience, we didn't think she actually participate, so we went but kept it very low key—she could perform if she wanted, and in all cases we would celebrate with her friends when her class was finished. Result: passionate wailing and self-recriminations throughout. The other parents' videos must be rather amusing, tbh.
We had a similar experience yesterday with her pre-K "final project"—an in-class "store" where the kids were to sell things to their parents. It was a little better, since each kid was really just interacting with their own family, but she was clearly pained nonetheless. As soon as it was over, she was back to being the class leader, organizing all the activities.
Again, we don't care if she dances or sells us tissue paper flowers, but we want her to feel comfortable and not self-flagellate when it's time for these activities. We are certainly mindful of the fact that she's just five, but at the same time, there will be fewer opportunities for us as parents to hold her hand as she transitions to public kindergarten in the fall.
How have you given your kids tools to find their confidence in these kinds of situations? |
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