I heard my coworker say this and then follow up with a comment. I'm uncomfortable. But should I say anything?
I'm one of the very few people of color in my new-ish (3 months) job. The job culture has turned out to be really toxic despite my best efforts to screen and ask a bunch of questions at the interview, so I'm looking for a new job. In the meantime, I have to stay as I don't have enough savings to leave.
My team is very...conservative I've come to find out. They're also miserable, but they have all been there for 8+ years and don't feel like leaving. When I first joined, a coworker said "Just wait, you'll be miserable like the rest of us, we'll break you in." I guess this was supposed to be funny? But I can't find the humor as a brand new hire. They say this to other hires as well. Turns out my office has high turnover!
Anyways, this coworker is very senior to us all and pretty much is my boss's best friend. She likes to lecture me about non-work things like life choices, the perils of tattoos, and my relationship as I'm the youngest on the team, but I just smile and ignore as best as I can. She is also uncomfortably obsessed with all things "ethnic" as she has told me, because she once lived in Chicago and after that, she realized she needed "more color in her life." So...I guess that's me.
On Friday, we were all at our desks and it's an open office, so you can hear everyone's conversations clearly. This coworker was speaking to another about a future trip to Chinatown (they have to go to NYC for work) and said "Can I be racist about Asian people for a minute?" And then she whispered and they both laughed and said "Yeah, they're terrible."
I am Asian. She knows this. I am also right next to their desk and can obviously hear them, but not their whispered comment. I have no clue what they said, but I can't imagine anything that follows that statement is good?
I felt immediately uncomfortable (my face was behind my monitor) but didn't know what to do. The moment had passed to say "What was that?" And I got called from my desk for a task right after. I have no allies in this work place. I do work for a state agency, but our HR apparently is non-existent. This is not the only comment my coworkers have made that have crossed a weird line, but it was the most recent one and made me feel the most uncomfortable.
Since I have no idea what their comment was (but who starts with can I be racist?? It wouldn't have set off alarm bells had it been any other phrase!) do I have any right to be bothered? Should I say anything to the coworker acknowledging that I heard her and she should not say those things? I know this will make the rest of my time miserable at work if I do say something. But I also am so tired of my workplace, I'm looking for a new job, and maybe this will give me a paper trail so no one is surprised I left? (My boss loves me and every day she begs me not to quit because she "knows that things can be a little crazy in here" :( ) Any advice on what to do or not do? |
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