Illness, anxiety, counselling, oh my.

Post date: 2019-02-17 12:10:32

This was us before Xmas. Things appeared to be settling down nicely until this last week, when Mr MMDP had something of a setback and I had something of a meltdown. I am a mess and can't help him until I help myself. But I don't know what sort of help I need. What does AskMefi suggest?

The back story is in the previous question, but my much-loved husband had a period of not making memories that resulted in a trip to hospital and a barrage of tests. They concluded that it was caused by a water infection. The situation resolved nicely and everything was fine until this last week, when following a casual conversation over dinner we realised he'd again had a complete failure to recall a fairly detailed conversation we'd had the night before and not only that, he'd forgotten the news story the conversation had been based on. While I was trying to get my mind round that, he also revealed he'd also discovered a "dent" in his skull about ten days previously that he'd not noticed before. Cue panic and freaking out (on his part too and he very rarely gets worried or scared).

So, more trips to doctors and hospital, more blood tests, another CT scan. Amazingly, no skull or bone anomalies showed up on this scan - there was no hole or dent or bone loss, even though everyone could feel this groove. Nothing underlying in the brain either. The doctor checked twice with the radiologist. Nothing. OK, good news. An A&E consultant also spoke to us - she concluded that it was transient global amnesia - but she wasn't very reassuring, as she talked about neurologists and the likelihood of Alzheimer's (she mentioned it as something unlikely but suggested I keep a log of times Mr MMDP has these episodes and if they increase in frequency then take it up with the GP. That made me both sad and anxious).

Now to the current situation. We are waiting for the results of blood tests on things like B12, Vitamin D, folate, lipids and other potential memory affecting biological chemicals. There is talk of a memory clinic, which terrifies me as he's only 54 and the thought of him with early-onset dementia is too much to stand. And this is the issue - I should be able to pull myself together and support him in the way he always does for me, but I'm a complete mess. I'm crying and nauseous and anxious and feel like I need to talk to someone about how to deal with what's going on. However I have no idea who I should be talking to - a counsellor (what sort?), a support group (for what?), friends (not many suitable candidates). I don't know what to do to help both him and me get through whatever is coming our way. I need to get things in proportion and I can't.

For what it's worth, I have tried CBT and it did nothing for me at all. Can anyone suggest a possible course of action in terms of where I might go for support and advice? Also, and I'm really sorry if this is triggering for anyone, have you had any experience with early onset dementia in a loved one and if so, what were the signs?

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