Do I just need thicker skin?

Post date: 2018-12-07 10:02:01

I just demo'd a work in progress to professional colleagues. The objective was to get feedback and make changes as required. I got lots of feedback! The problem is I felt like I'd been beaten up afterward. I have 3 interrelated questions: How do I take it less personally? How do I focus on the constructive criticism? Can I broach the problem with a colleague?

—I think part of the problem is that the medium I work in is different than the medium my colleagues work in, and so not everyone has a lot of language to articulate what changes they'd like to see, or what specific parts of a design they dislike, so sometimes all they can say is "needs work", "I don't like it" or something similar. There were also some useful suggestions, but I find myself dwelling on the low-information comments.

One colleague's feedback in particular I was hurt by because it was not at all constructive and didn't even give me a hint about what she disliked. "i liked when it stopped" (it was music). She also made other asides that felt similarly cutting and unhelpful. I really don't think it's an interpersonal thing. We get along and work together closely on many things, but this has happened with her before in scenarios where I'm showing something and it leaves me embarrassed, frustrated and hurt. She's great at her work, and opinionated about design, which is a good thing.

Another part of the problem is that I really care about what I'm doing. I'm emotionally invested, which is also usually a good thing but makes it hard for me not to take critique personally.

Our small studio is structured pretty non-hierarchically and has a casual but hard-working atmosphere. There's the founder, and then the rest of us, and even the founder is very approachable and doesn't give orders. So all of this is from peers.

again, my questions:
What are some strategies for separating the signal from the noise when I'm getting feedback?
How do I take it less personally?
Should I broach the subject with this one colleague in particular? If so, how do I do it in a professional manner?

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