I am looking at making a major international trip in about two and a half months' time. Despite my best efforts, I am really stressing out about how I will deal with my various chronic pain issues, especially since I know that the trip will be mentally and emotionally taxing as well and I will not have a lot of ability to deal well with pain. What can I do? Blizzards inside.
I have osteoarthritis in my knees and plantar fasciitis in my feet. My core strength is almost non-existent, so I have sporadic lower back pain as well. Standing/walking pretty much always hurts; I have trouble doing so continuously for anything over 5 minutes. (I also have other neck/shoulder/elbow pain, constant and mysterious abdominal cramping, and am prone to headaches that make me acutely noise-, smell- and light-sensitive, but I am less concerned about those aspects because they don't directly affect my mobility.)
I'm in Australia, I'll be flying to the US (Melbourne - Sydney - Dallas - Pensacola, so a nice short hop). I'll have time in Florida, then fly up to NY, assorted road trips, back to Florida, then back to Oz (Pensacola - Dallas - San Francisco - Melbourne).
I am not worried so much about the flights, which will be tedious and uncomfortable, but I know what to expect. I am worried about the airports. I know that I can ask for assistance getting from check-in to the gate on one of those little electric cart thingies, but there's all the standing around in very long queues as you clear customs, go through security theatre to test for gunshot residue and have to take off your shoes (that part is easy, less so is putting them on again later), all that kind of thing. I cannot stand in long queues. My knees lock and then painfully, crunchingly unlock each time I have to shuffle forward three steps. My lower back aches and throbs and before long roars in agony. But the other people in the queue are unlikely to say, why sure, you go straight to the front of the queue, we don't mind. And the sources of my pain are not visible and obvious - there's no cast or crutches or anything that shows I can't do this without massive pain.
Even when I get to my destinations, the worries do not stop. I know for sure that there will be lots of stairs to cope with. I can do stairs in small doses (slowly, one at a time, clutching a handrail) but there are lots and there isn't always something to hold on to. Plus, I will be seeing people who have not seen me with this little mobility before and I am scared and ashamed to admit that I will not be able to do things we have previously enjoyed doing (visiting museums and other places in NYC, walking numerous blocks, riding the subway standing up). I walk incredibly slowly. I will have trouble just walking down to the shop on the corner to pick up milk if we run out.
I can't do anything about the osteoarthritis, although I have been doing short stints on the exercise bike every day for the past three and a half months to help build strength in my knees, increase overall fitness, etc. It hasn't been a bad thing to do, and I am pleased I have stuck to it, but I absolutely still have pain. I've increasingly become aware that my core strength is definitely something I need to work on, but beyond a few exercises meant to encourage ab-strengthening haven't been sure how to do this.
I am getting to the point where I am seriously wondering whether I should cancel my trip before it's too late because I just can't think how I will be able to cope with everything. I know you are not my doctor, physiotherapist, myotherapist or psychologist; nor can any of you make my decision for me. But I am increasingly feeling like there is nothing I can do except look forward to more pain and even less mobility so travel is right out. I really need some hope and to feel like I can actually still do things, but I don't know what I can do to make this happen. Alternatively, if it just sounds like I would be better off cancelling the trip and I am just in denial, please, tell me.
Also I know that there will be suggestions to get a cane (have one, doesn't help) or a walker/rollator with a seat (I have looked them up and have not been able to find one that will accommodate both my enormously wide hips and similarly massive weight) and go swimming (no, no and more no) so please bear in mind that I have thought of these things already. |
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