everybody needs a hug, or maybe I just need one

Post date: 2018-01-18 20:19:17

Major, major life upheaval at the moment. This too shall pass, but I need tips for hanging in there until it's over.

Please look at my most recent question for some context. Things have escalated with my landlord to a terrifying degree; I have cleaned my apartment (and the friends who came to help me confirmed that his reaction was overblown and I'm not actually a hoarder or even a "problem" tenant) but I also do not want to remain in a building where my landlord comes into my apartment whenever he wants without informing me beforehand to inspect my housekeeping or whatever else he may want. I began the process of negotiating a lease buyout (with the help of an attorney), landlord is now trying to blame me for somehow causing a bathroom leak (?) that has damaged the ceiling of the tenant below me. I don't know how I can be held responsible for a leak that was never brought to my attention (and moreover the bathroom in question has been damaged since before I moved in, information that my former roommate can confirm and also the guy who used to be the super for the building (before he quit because my landlord punched him during a confrontation) can confirm this as well. Landlord has also torn the shit out of my bathroom floor in "investigating" this leak (there is a hole, the apartment is not habitable now because of him) and is threatening me to move out immediately or he will call the police and animal control. (This all happened today. I think it's clear that he has been hoping to intimidate me into moving out.)

My lawyer is handling this. I know my rights. I know if the landlord wants to evict me it will take months. I know he has no way of taking my cat from me. Legally, I'm safe. Physically and emotionally, I am terrified. I've taken the cat and have fled to a friend's house (left with no choice now that there's a giant fucking hole in my bathroom floor). My lawyer says this is a pain in the ass but hang in there, it will be over soon. I believe him. I know the law is on my side. I have many friends in the community who are ready to support me. But I'm completely shook up and I'm filled with this horrible jangly restless heart-pounding terror, like I'm living in one long protracted anxiety attack. My landlord is not well-liked in this town due to having screwed over many former employees and vendors in the past. He also obviously has a history of violent behavior towards people he's worked with. He is a volatile personality and I am petrified that I am going to run into him in the next week or so while I move out.

This situation is being handled legally. I have an appointment with a moving company tomorrow and hopefully I can move out this weekend. But it's the practical, logistical, and emotional stuff I need a strategy for. How do I get out of this building safely? How do I cope with the stress and the flat-out terror I feel right now? What do I do if I encounter my landlord in the building and he tries to intimidate me? What do I do if I run into a neighbor who wants to know why I am suddenly leaving? I'm a young woman who lives alone and while I am lucky enough to have friends in my community who are all working to help me out of this situation at the end of the day I'm the one who has to make this happen and I am SO FUCKING SCARED right now, I'm literally crying as I type this. I've been through so much shit in the past three years, I've survived, and I will be damned if I let a lunatic landlord ruin me but he's a big scary man with a temper and I've obviously pissed him off.

Strategies, words of encouragement, safety plans, any and all things are welcome. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. Please please please someone tell me it's going to be okay and help me figure out how to get through this. If there is a way to make sure that this guy can never find me going forward (I don't want to live in fear that he will be waiting for me in the alleyway of my new building or some such horrendous thing) please tell me how I can do that.

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