Fear of getting raped is taking over my life

Post date: 2018-01-13 03:03:52
Views: 12
I'm a woman who sometimes travels and hikes alone. I increasingly can't enjoy or do this anymore.

Right now I'm on vacation in Wyoming, and instead of enjoying these beautiful desolate spaces, all I can think about is how helpless I would be if I came across someone and he decided to rape me. I used to occasionally car camp to save some dough and I was planning to do it on this trip, but when push came to shove I was too afraid to do it.

Contributing factors:
- My mother worries. Her immediate reaction to anything I tell her about traveling is some variation on 'You're not doing this alone, are you?' and then if I don't check in every couple days or so on the trip (even if I'm with someone) she'll say 'I've been worried...'. I hate to complain about having someone who loves me so much, but it's really starting to get into my head that what I'm doing is dangerous.
- Last month there was an incident where I was traveling in a mid-size city and a man openly and aggressively followed me on an interstate highway in broad daylight (I'd pull over to get rid of him and then he'd do the same, then when I'd drive again he'd aggressively tailgate me.) I think he may have followed me from a town, and I didn't notice, which upped the creepiness factor for me. I think this just reinforced the idea traveling alone is dangerous for women.
- The #MeToo stories. Of course I support this movement, but it's really gotten into my head that around every corner lurks a sexual predator and that every man wants to hurt me.
- I've lived in NYC for the past five years, and though I used to live in a much less populated area, I've really gotten used to other people being around at all times.

Help. I want to enjoy my travel.

Other details:
- I've never been sexually assaulted in any way.
- Regarding getting people to travel with, if I never did anything alone, there are a lot of things I wouldn't get to do. I try to travel with people when I can, but I get a lot more time off than most people. I'm not partnered, so I don't have a default activity partner. A lot of my friends don't share my outdoor interests. I'm constantly looking for new travel and outdoor friends, including just temporary ones I meet along the way, but if I never did anything alone I would be sitting at home a lot, and I don't want to live my life that way.
- Sort of similarly, if I only went to destinations with a lot of people, I would miss out on a lot. A lot of hiking trails and destinations are just isolated or desolate, especially in winter. I mean, getting away from civilization is kind of the point. Sometimes I don't know how dead a place is until I get there.
- I try to use commonsense precautions when I can, in terms of letting people know where I am, carrying a cell phone, having a good working car, etc. I stick to established hiking trails. I've been debating carrying a weapon.
- I only travel alone in the U.S.. I've wanted to travel more internationally, but I'm too afraid to do it alone.
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