Feeling a little devastated

Post date: 2023-03-23 00:29:31

One of my best friends just got engaged. I have complex feelings about it.

I have a longtime friend who just got engaged. He and I get along fantastic and talk almost every other day. In the decade or so of knowing each other, he expressed at one point in time in being interested - it was not the right timing for me. But in the last few years, my feelings for him have grown but I never said anything out of fear. Then he entered a serious relationship.

Just last night, he told me out of nowhere that he got engaged to her. I managed to hold it together and pretend to be excited for him. Then I got home and promptly sobbed. I haven't been able to sleep at all either.

It's weird timing - a lot of friendships are changing for me, and I'm getting over still a really hard breakup. I feel super lonely and just "behind", and also mad at myself for missing out on potentially a great partner by not saying anything ever.

I'm seeing a therapist and maybe will move that appointment earlier. I'm not even sure the question here. I'm assuming I can't say anything? How do I explain my sudden distance? What are good coping strategies for getting over this/this particularly lonely period right now? Is there something wrong with me, as I wasn't even expecting to be this upset?

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