Friend complaining but not making changes

Post date: 2023-03-23 02:06:11

How to handle a close friend who complains a lot of being miserable in a specific situation, and also talks of making changes, but then never does?

An analogous example, but not the exact situation: my friend lives in an apartment complex and constantly is messaging/telling me that she is miserable there due to a poor relationship with landlord and some other issues. She sends messages throughout the day about how much stress this is bringing her. She's lived there for years.

Pretty frequently she'll also say, "I have to get out. I'm going to look for another apartment." Yet, she never does. She has the money, and there are other apartments available. But she never looks. When I ask why, she says that she likes some of her neighbors and likes a garden she has there. But the misery and stress of the other things clearly outweighs these.

So, my question is, how to deal with her frequent venting to me about the situation/frequent statements that she wants to leave, yet never making plans to do so?

I understand it's not easy to make changes and that there are invisible emotional factors here but it stresses me out to hear how miserable she's been for years yet knowing that she absolutely can move but is choosing not to?

(The actual situation is different but analogous. It's not about leaving a relationship)

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