I've made a lot of progress in dealing with anxiety and depression. But the struggle with my BIG EMOTIONS is still a big part of my life. I want to know how to accept who I am, instead of beating myself up for not being insert vague idea of what a normal person is like, that I can't even imagine]. I need some guidance on how to think about myself as an anxious person in a more compassionate and accepting way. How to stop framing it as being "broken" or unbalanced or wrong. This is tough to do because the anxiety and depression makes me feel so broken, unbalanced, and wrong.
I've been seeing a therapist, but for complex reasons can't go on seeing her right now. I also feel as if I've got what I can from therapy at the moment, and need to apply the lessons I've learnt for a while.
I'm coping pretty well at the moment, meditating, exercising, eating well, trying to build social interaction into my day because loneliness is a big problem for me. But it's still such hard work.
I've learned that it's a mistake to think of my journey so far as progress, (even though that's how I started this question) because that implies that when I, inevitably, have bad moments, then that's proof that I'm regressing, slipping back, "back where I started" and that triggers a big anxiety spiral for me. But I don't know how else to think about the ups and downs I'm experiencing. I feel proud that I've found ways to get through the day and do everything I have to do, but I'm also ashamed that it's such hard work just to stay on a relatively even keel.
If you have similar struggles, have you found a way to accept who you are? I know I can't think my way out of anxiety (that's one of the traps) but I also find that sometimes, reframing my thoughts is incredibly helpful. Have you found ways to do that? Of course, a lot of this has to do with the way the world is right now, but honestly, I was struggling before the pandemic too. |
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