Would you move for love, and is it healthy to?

Post date: 2020-11-24 11:26:35

How many people would be happy at around 38 to leave their own roots and friends and life to move several hundred miles away for me? And would someone who was willing to do that actually be kind of psychologically unhealthy, or lacking in close ties?

I am a 33yo woman from Scotland. I've just started medical school in the south of England (it's a 5-year programme). I am single but would like to have kids some day. A lot of people do actually have kids while at the medical school I'm at, and they manage OK, so that is an option. I want to have a family, but I also want to go back to Scotland (Edinburgh or Glasgow) to live. (I wish I'd got into medical school in the Scottish unis I applied to, but I didn't. I'm kind of heartbroken because I'd been away from Edinburgh for a while and had been about to move back and start to strengthen my friendships and acquaintanceships and start to rebuild my roots in Edinburgh, but then the pandemic happened and then medical school. Medical school is *hard* to get into, and, if I were to drop out, there are no guarantees that I'd ever get another offer. I asked the medical schools I'd be happy to be at in Scotland, and they said that they wouldn't consider an application from me unless I had completely dropped out of my current one.

If things go "to plan", I won't be able to leave the south of England until I'm 38. Ideally (family-wise) I need to have met someone I'd like to be with by then! But how many people would be happy at around 38 to leave their own roots and friends and life to move several hundred miles away for me? And would someone who was willing to do that actually be kind of psychologically unhealthy, or lacking in close ties? I feel like I'm having to choose between medicine and reasonable prospects of having a partner and family. Medicine may be great but I don't think it's worth the entire rest of my life, if that's what it really comes down to. I'm pretty depressed and thinking of quitting medical school, returning to Scotland, and training as a counsellor.

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