How to deal with relative's illness

Post date: 2020-10-20 06:58:43

I just spent 24 hours with a relative, who is my age, who has a debilitating illness affecting both their physical capabilities and their brain. I did not have much to do, apart from preparing meals and giving them their medicine, which left lots of time to think. That was a problem.

So now I am home and super sad (no surprise) but also exhausted from being worried the whole time if they might fall (not yet) and also about the general unfairness of life (again, no surprise). I want to be able to help this relative and their partner, to the extent possible, but the decline between a month ago and now was noticeable.

I am one of those sponge types and I am wondering how my nervous system can cope with being around this person and feeling shitty for them. I am super careful not to show it; we went for a walk and were able to laugh. But the clock is ticking on their ability to do things like put on shoes, etc. Like, they kind of couldn't without my help and that is new. Any and all advice about being helpful and not drowning in my feels in the process would be much appreciated.

Have spoken to their partner; eventually my relative will be shifted to a nursing home or similar facility when the partner believes it is necessary. So this is not about getting partner to acknowledge relative's decline, it is about me figuring out how to cope emotionally and also, not feel obligated to be there 24/7, which I have not been asked to do but am afraid not to do when partner is out of town. Relative has Lewy body dementia. Thanks!

Please click Here to read the full story.